“Will EMDR Mess Me Up?” What Really Happens to Your Brain When You Process Trauma
If you’ve ever typed “EMDR side effects” or “Can EMDR make things worse?” into Google, you’re not alone. A client recently asked me this question.
A lot of my clients come in nervous about EMDR. It makes sense. When something promises deep emotional change, it can feel a bit… terrifying, especially if you’re someone who’s spent years holding it all together. You want healing, not to be cracked open with no way back.
Let’s talk honestly about what EMDR actually does, and what it doesn’t do.
What is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It’s a type of psychotherapy developed in the late 1980s, now backed by a solid body of research. It’s particularly effective for people dealing with PTSD, complex trauma, anxiety, and deep-rooted self-worth wounds.
In EMDR, you don’t have to “talk it all out” or relive every detail. Instead, we work with your brain’s natural processing system, using something called bilateral stimulation, usually in the form of eye movements, tapping, or gentle sounds from left to right.
This activates both hemispheres of the brain, helping the mind reprocess memories that are stuck, like files that never got properly saved. You don’t forget the memory, but it’s no longer sharp-edged or emotionally hijacking.
What if EMDR messes me up?
A question I get asked is “what if it messes me up?” ?
This is one of the most common fears I hear:
- “What if I have a breakdown?”
- “What if something awful comes out that I can’t control?”
- “What if I lose myself in it?”
These are big, very real worries, especially if you’ve had to power through life with your feelings stuffed down, masked with coping, or locked in a mental box somewhere. You might worry that if you really let go, you’ll fall apart. That there’s something too dark or chaotic inside you to safely face.
But here’s the truth: EMDR doesn’t plant anything in you, it works with what’s already there. What you’ve already been carrying, often for years, silently. That grief, shame, rage, fear – it’s not new. It’s been buried for a while, and EMDR offers a safe and structured way to bring it into the light, piece by piece, so your nervous system can finally process it and move forward. You do this in a safe space with your therapist, creating a difference in the experience or reconnecting to the hard stuff.
What’s happening inside your brain?
Let’s get into a bit of the science.
When you go through trauma, whether a single event or years of chronic emotional stress, your brain can’t always process it in the usual way. The experience gets “stuck” in the brain’s limbic system, especially the amygdala (your fear detector) and hippocampus (your memory organiser).
Instead of being filed away as a “thing that happened,” the memory lives on as something that feels like it’s still happening. That’s why trauma triggers are so intense; your brain isn’t being dramatic. It literally thinks the danger is still present and so it wants to put you in alert mode to give you a chance to fight off the threat.
EMDR helps the brain move that memory from the limbic system to the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain that helps you reflect, make meaning, and know, “That was then. This is now.”
Research using brain scans shows that after EMDR, there’s reduced activity in the amygdala and increased integration between emotional and rational parts of the brain.
In simple terms: you feel calmer, more in control, and less haunted and heavy.
Can EMDR “change” a memory?
Here’s where it gets really interesting—and deeply therapeutic.
In EMDR, we sometimes use what’s called “resourcing” or “imaginal interweaves.” These are carefully guided moments where we might, with your full consent and awareness, invite something new into a memory—like a protective figure, a wiser adult version of you, or a symbolic action that represents closure.
It’s not about rewriting history. It’s about helping your brain connect painful memories to new, adaptive information. Think of it like weaving in threads of safety, power, or compassion where there was once only fear or helplessness.
This creative, imaginative layer isn’t fantasy, it’s neurobiologically powerful. Your brain learns through imagery and emotion. And when it links old pain with new meaning, the whole memory network can shift.
Will it feel uncomfortable?
Sometimes, yes. Healing often involves a bit of emotional turbulence. You’re going to allow yourself to go towards the thing you’ve been trying to avoid for a while. That takes strength. So you might feel tired, emotionally stirred, or dream more vividly. That doesn’t mean you’re regressing or breaking down or getting worse. It means your system is reorganising. Like a snow globe being shaken, not for chaos, but for clarity once things settle. We just don’t shake hard, just enough to be able to move the snowflakes around a bit.
And crucially, EMDR is never about diving in without preparation. We spend time building internal resources and stability first. You’ll learn how to ground yourself, how to notice when you’re becoming overwhelmed, and how to stay present even when touching painful parts of your story.
This is not therapy that’s done to you. It’s something we do together, with care and consent at every step.
So, will EMDR mess you up?
No. But it may stir things up temporarily. That’s not destruction, it’s integration, and that’s processing.
You’ve likely carried so much for so long. EMDR doesn’t add more weight; it is designed to help you finally put it down, piece by piece.
Final thoughts
If you’re feeling hesitant about EMDR, that’s okay. It’s not something you have to rush into. You deserve to understand what’s happening in your mind, to feel safe in the process, and to heal at your own pace. Any therapist you see will already have expertise in mental health before training in EMDR so you will not be thrown into hard situations, but prepared and given tools to cope.
EMDR isn’t about unleashing chaos, it’s about finally giving your nervous system a way out of survival mode.
And no, you won’t “lose yourself.” You’ll find parts of you that have been waiting a long time to come home.
